A Buried Child and 6 Deaths Too Many

Ride On Logan, Ride On...

     2-Year-Old Logan Hunter Coleman was buried today. He died after taking antibiotics for strep throat. Yet, they’re not 100% sure that is the cause because the autopsy is not back yet.
     This was Ernest, my Stepdad's niece Misty, 2-year-old little boy. That might sound confusing, but Ernest has 20 some-odd brother's and sister's. Therefore, it's a big family. What you do need to understand is although it's sudden and sad; Logan’s Death is not the only recent sudden loss in this family! 

     Baby Logan Hunter Coleman was a precious baby with parents, who loved and cared for him very much! His loving brother and sister will also grieve the loss of Logan. I would be lying if I said I knew these people well. However, the unexpected death of a two-year- baby really touched my heart and I wanted to share my condolences to the family.

RIP BRANDI!

     Because Ernest’s family is so large, they have lost six members in just 3 months: Lost from earth, yet no longer suffering. I was only really close to one of the members and funerals are too hard for me to bear. Therefore, I did not attend most services. But, I did go to Brandi Newsome’s; Ernest's niece who was 2- years younger than me, and passed away in December. Besides the death of my father, that was the second hardest death I have had to grieve. She and I had lost touch but we were very close growing up.

     Now, Ernest’s family is keeping the funeral home in business because they have 2 family members in the same funeral home at once. The attending family member’s went back and forth between Logan and family member Butch Jackson, who also passed away. Ernest also worked with him for 20 years. Therefore, even though Logan was buried today and sent to be an angel, the family is going back to the funeral home tomorrow. Unfortunately, Ernest’s entire family has been going to the funeral home at least once a week.

     Although I really only knew one of these family members personally, it makes me realize how precious life is. I am a control freak!! The truth is, I have no control over when people live or die!!!! Even with celebrities like Whitney Houston, death often come as a surprise.

     Who could be next? Could the people or family members I love most die tomorrow? Could my nephew get hit by a car and the doctor’s tell my stepsister she has no choice left but to pull the plug?? I tear up just thinking about it! How would I handle it? I’m not sure I could and I’m not even his mother. 

       Anyway, I just want to tell my stepdad Ernest’s family that I admire your strength and courage and hope that this week is your last funeral home visit. I know that y’all have had a string of bad luck. However, death always teaches us something. I hope you are able to grieve sooner rather than later so that you are able to learn the lesson that death teaches.

I am sorry for all your losses and if any of you have a bad moment and need to talk to someone, feel free to call me. (even if we have never met)   

REST IN PEACE!!!

Bobby

Brandi Newsone

Butch Jackson

Freddy Baker

Grandpa Ford

Logan Hunter Coleman

[Retrieved from Debbie Walker's (My Mom's) Facebook Wall on 2/23/12]

Two little eyes discovering what's new

Two little hands touching everything in view

A sweet little voice asking you why

A mischievous smile and a whimpering cry

Two little feet jumping on the floor

A toddler's mission is to explore

Little Logan was a child of love

He's now in heaven with God above.

-----In memory of Logan Hunter Coleman 

2012 Oscar Prediction's and Commentary of a Movie Lover

It’s Oscar time-The time of year that I stare at the TV for hours because I love movies! There’s the actual Oscars, the pre-show, and the pre-pre show! Oh, plus the Academy Awards is never officially complete until I watch the Oscar Fashion Wrap-up with Joan Rivers. This is like the Super Bowl for movie nerds!

I realize that some of you might not keep up with Oscars and movies as much as I do. Therefore, this Blog will enlighten you on what to expect this year. I’ll include nominations for the top categories and my predictions of winners. If you disagree with my predictions, feel free to comment & let me know!

The Oscar telecast should be great this year! Billy Crystal is hosting for the 9^th time because Eddie Murphy dropped out of this is years hosting gig. As a Oscar Host, Crystal never disappoints and brings plenty of spontaneity and wit!

The 84^th Academy Awards is Breaking New Ground

2012 is the year of the silent film and women, particularly African- American Women. Giving captivating performances and transporting us into their intense character’s, several well-deserving actresses fill the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories this year. 

February is Black History month, and I predict the 84^th Oscar telecast will reflect that, and give two black actresses Academy Awards for both actress’ categories. If this happens, it will be the first time in Oscar history that 2 African-American women won both top actress awards. With so many fine performances, I think it will be a close race in Best Actress category. However, even though Meryl Streep gave a striking performance and is always an Oscar favorite, I believe Viola Davis is taking home Best Actress for her powerfully, introverted character in The Help.  I think that even though her co-star Jessica Chastain won’t win for her Best-Supporting Actress, you had better plan to see a whole lot of her in the future. As well as giving an awesome performance in The Help, Chastain was also in Best Picture nominee The Tree of Life with Brad Pitt and Sean Pean. Davis' other Co-star, Octavia Spencer is a no-brainer for the Best-Supporting Actress category and if she loses that will be the biggest shocker of the night!

This year also brought famous moviemakers into new territory. Woody Allen came out of New York with Midnight in Paris and my long-time favorite, Martin Scorsese, stepped out of his R-Rated genre with a 3-D family movie, Hugo.

Best Picture Nominee's

           Best Picture nomine The Help is of course the biggest moneymaker of all the nominees. It is certainly the people’s favorite for Best Picture. I enjoyed it very much and think it was very worthy of all its nominations. The Tree of Life was unlike most movies, but I liked it because I like movies that make you think outside the box. However, it’s not the kind of movie for everyone and can be hard to follow. War Horse was okay, I think my expectations were too high for the movie and it was too sappy at times. The Descendants was a decent movie that can keep a movie-lover audience full-filled. I haven’t seen Moneyball since it was in the theaters which was several months ago. But, I do remember liking it. I enjoyed it and was pleased with the movie. However, at the time, I did not think it was Oscar material-guess I was wrong there. Midnight in Paris was funny and witty. Even though I enjoy Woody Allen movies, I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would. Every American should see Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Even though the script seems implausible at times, it is a good reminder of the effects that 9/11 had on the people it directly affected. The movie is not too sappy, but does make you tear up a few times. Martin Scorsese is my favorite director, but I must admit Hugo is the only Best Picture nominee I have not seen. I decided that I only would see it in 3-D and whenever I was looking, it was never showing at any theaters close to me, which stunk!

          Finally, My favorite Best Picture of the Year is The Artist. I try to see all Best Picture nominees, but I was not sure if I would be able to follow a silent movie because I had never seen one before. However, The Artist does a very clever job at introducing the audience to silence movies and I was more captivated by The Artist than any movie all year long. It is amazing how much can be expressed through non-verbal communication-approximately 53% of communication comes from face, 38% from the voice, and 7% from words. Everything about The Artist was great, and the actors were incredible, especially Best-Supporting Actress nominee Berenice Bejo and Best Actor nominee Jean Dujardin (Don’t be surprised if he wins, he speaks mostly in French-He doesn't speak good English!)  

WATCH THE ARTIST TRAILER BELOW!

Well, that’s all I have on the Oscar movies and what to expect from the 84th Oscar telecast. See the list below on my predictions on who will win the top categories. I know I didn’t touch on the most important topic of the night, but it was just too difficult to predict. So you will just have to stay tuned to find out..."WHO ARE YOU WEARING"???

NOMINATIONS AND PREDICTIONS OF TOP OSCAR CATEGORIES...  

BEST PICTURE

The Artist- Who I Think Will Win

War Horse

The Descendants

Moneyball

The Tree of Life

Midnight in Paris

The Help

Hugo

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

BEST DIRECTOR

Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist- Who I Think Will Win

Alexander Payne, The Descendants

Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

BEST ACTOR

Demian Bichir, A Better Life

George Clooney, The Descendants

Jean Dujardin, The Artist -Who I Think Will Win

Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Brad Pitt, Moneyball

BEST ACTRESS

Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs

Viola Davis, The Help- Who I Think Will Win

Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Jonah Hill, Moneyball

Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn

Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Nick Nolte, Warrior

Christopher Plummer, Beginners- Who I Think Will Win

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Berenice Bejo, The Artist

Jessica Chastain, The Help

Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids

Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs

Octavia Spencer, The Help- Who I Think Will Win

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

The Artist

Bridesmaids

Margin Call

Midnight in Paris- Who I Think Will Win

A Separation

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

The Descendants- Who I Think Will Win

Hugo

The Ides of March

Moneyball

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Watch the Oscar Red Carpet Live tonight at 6pm central on ABC and the actual telecast at 7:30 central. Also, if you’re an Oscar junkie like me, E! televises a live countdown to the Red Carpet from like 12:30 central until the ABC broadcast!

In Memory of My Father: 8 Years After His Death

Yesterday was officially 8 years to the day that it's been since I buried my dad. It just doesn't seem like it’s been that long. I handled this past week good because I try to avoid looking at the calendar this time of year if I possibly can. The last 2 weeks in February I tend to never know the date. That way I avoid the painful memories and won't be aware of some of the bad day's that plagued my February of 2004.

It still can be hard, but Father's Day's & his birthday are harder--probably because they happened every year instead of only one dreaded year. I always remember the last father’s day I had with my dad.   At least remembering the good times is easy when you had a great Dad, like mine!!!

In Memory of my Father, below I’m going to Publish a letter that I emailed a friend a few months ago, when her father was dying. She had emailed me and asked "how my Dad died & how old I was?" My response was written freestyle & quick, with no editing done. It was my free thoughts at the time, so to edit it now would censor the memory. But, it always brings memories & tears to my eyes. Therefore, I thought I would share it.

Here is what I wrote... I Love & Miss You Daddy!!!...

I think I was 24. Long & emotional story... at first he just started coughing, and then I cud tell somethen was wrong....then like 6 paramedics came at like 3 in the morning and I was riding in the front of ambulance as they was in the back pounding on his chest...

I said  to the driver: 'What does that mean??' I was in denial

Then they rushed him into a a room and pulled me into a private room... I shuda known somethen was wrong, so many signs.... they wouldn't even take him to they preferred hospital, they had to take him to the closest.

I was sitting in a small private room just waiting an shortly later, this tiny female doctor came in & started talking....I wouldn't even let her finish...

I just interrupted her & I knew... I said ' Is he dead' & she said 'yes'..... I started wailing so loud, u cud probably hear me in Lebanon.

There was a phone next to me & called my mom. She said she wakled into the kitchen, so not to wake up Ernest because she didn't know why I was callin @ 3am. And, Ernest said he could hear me crying and screaming over the phone all the way in the bedroom...

It was hard... I was a zombie for a few days

We had the viewing in Nashville & then Me, Mom & Ernest flew to New York to bury him where he was from....

My Dad's Italian Catholic family In Long Island are Character's....

It was like a Journey to the Sopranos...LOL

But, it gets better & now I mostly think of happy memories!!! I do love him & father's day is hard because i remember my last fathers day with him vividly.

I was an only child & he spoiled me rotten! He would do anything for me. I was Daddy's little girl!!!

 But, I know he looks down on me every day & smiles. I remember his smile. My Dad was a religious man... a lot more than me.

The night before he died... he ironically did something that I don't ever remember him doing with me.... he pulled out a book that had the Lord's Prayer.. & read it with me... we prayed together the night before he died...

I honestly can't say I remember Dad teaching me the Lord's Prayer before the night he died, he just ironically did on that night.
I wonder if unconsciously he was aware of what would happen???

                        I Love & Miss You Daddy!!!

Allowing Others Frustration to Frustrate Me

Frustration caused by ignorance happens. I get frustrated when I'm ignorant to certain things. But when I offer a simple suggestion to make life easier for someone, and offer to take the time to show them how to do it, or even do it for them, I get treated like crap. It hurts! I'm not the one causing the frustration. I just know how to help this specific problem and was attempting to stop you from being miserable because I care about you. How about a please or thank you, instead of acting like I'm a bother for wanting a couple minutes of your time to try and help? How about looking for solutions so you don't constantly have to face the same problems over again?

If people continue to remain oblivious to any issues, big or small, no problems will ever get fixed and they'll continue to be frustrated by them. I guess that makes me a hypocrite because I continually offer to help  and then I get frustrated and hurt every time. Yet, I still offer.

 I just know from experience that this issue will most likely arise  again. So, I am trying to offer a simple solution because I know I’ll probably have to hear you get frustrated about something caused by this problem again. Maybe that's even selfish of me. I know I’m far from perfect! However, when I’m ignorant to particular issues, I will take a few minutes to listen to what another person has to say about them so I don’t always face the same problems. Sometimes I even take their advice ;) It saves time and stress in the end. “Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein

Epilepsy and Depression- Dreams of a Cure By Way of VNS Implant

I was talking to a girl online who also has Epilepsy, Depression, and is a Psychology major. These are 3 things that define me too!

She had the Vagus Nerve Stimulation implant (VNS), which gives her brain electrical shocks and helps stop her seizures whenever necessary. She said it has really helped her memory because she is not taking as many seizure medications, although she still has to take some. She mentioned that because the implant affects her brain, it also helps with her depression.

VNS

As far as anti-seizure drugs affecting memory, I can vouch for that! I used to have a really great memory & now, at the age of 30, I have more memory problems than I can remember... pun intended!

I have had so many terrible side-effects from the numerous seizure meds that I have been on, that I have lost count. Some of the side-effects are almost worse than the actual seizures themselves. It's bad when the side-effects negatively affect my in-class presenting skills and the instructor comments "practicing would help." I wanna say: "Nope, I did practice! It's my meds. They make me repeat myself and I forget what I'm saying". It Sucks!!!

ANTI-SEIZURE MEDS ARE ALSO USED
AS MOOD STABILIZERS. THEREFORE, EVERYTIME
I SEE  MY NEUROLOGIST SHE SAYS TO ME:
"HOWS YOUR MOOD, MELANIE" :)

I use to be a really good speaker, won forensics trophy’s, and acted in the theater, which required performing in front of huge audience's. I stopped acting because my seizures got in the way, and it got to the point where I couldn't even remember a simple monologue to audition with-no matter how much and how hard I tried. I was probably only 21-years-old at the time.

I was talking to my neurologist recently, and she said that most people with Epilepsy also have Depression. That makes since to me because I was diagnosed with depression soon after I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. When you can't drive or live independently, you tend to get a bit depressed.

My epilepsy has always been pretty bad, and I am currently on disability for it. I've had to drop out of a few college courses, here and there, because of hospital stays. Plus, I dropped out of high school my senior year because my seizures caused me to miss so much school that I couldn't graduate because of my absences. I even broke my ankle about a year ago and was in a cast & crutches for a few months after having a grand mal seizure and falling down a flight of stairs. At least I get some help paying for college with Vocational Rehab.

Because I have never been a candidate for the implant before, I guess I just had to decide if I wanted seizures. If not, I had to make myself willing to deal with all the side-effects of the anti-seizure medications. I currently take 3 anti-seizure meds at high levels & an anti-depressant. However, my seizures have been better the last couple of months so maybe I should ask my neurologist if I could be a candidate for the the VNS implant now!

It hasn't always been easy, but I'm glad all this happened to me because it inspired my passion in Psychology and Counseling. But, if I could become a candidate for The VNS implant, I would totally go ahead & get it!

Click Here and Go To The Epilepsy Foundation Website to learn more about VNS, Epilepsy, and To Make a Donation To This Wonderful Foundation! Among The Great Things They Do, They Also Sponsor Scholarships for Epileptic Students, Like Me!!! 

AWESOME FOUNDATION!!! http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/resources/medical/vagus-nerve-stimulation-therapy.cfm 
CLICK THE ABOVE LINK AND CLICK ON 'DONATE TODAY' TO BECOME A FORCE IN THE FIGHT AGAINST EPILEPSY!

REMEMBER!!

Oblivious to Valentine’s Day!

Today is February 16! I can officially say that I got past the single woman’s most hated holiday without phoning an old boyfriend or tuning into “Loving with Delilah.” *Singsong Voice* De-li-lah! It is the only radio program that can make a listener contemplate suicide while playing depressing pop music.

With the exception of when I gorged on a big heart-shaped box of chocolates that my mom gave me, I survived the holiday by making myself oblivious to the presence of Valentine’s Day. That was my defense mechanism to guard me against feeling like a lonely and depressed 30-year-old who is going to die a single old woman surrounded by her cats. I just pretended it was a typical day.

ME- AN OLD WOMAN SURROUNDED BY MY CATS!

MY VALENTINE'S DATE FOR 2012

I HOPE I DON'T DIE THIS WAY!

As much as I want to be a strong, independent woman, sometimes I do get lonely and wish I could fall in love. Because I never have been, sometimes I wonder if I even have the capability of truly falling in love. Maybe my selfishness prohibits me from being able to truly give enough of myself away so that I might fall head over heels “in love” with someone.

I know that I am able to love and I love many, such as family and friends. However, being “in love” with someone is completely foreign to me. Maybe I have seen one too many romantic movies, but I just want to fall “in love” with somebody before I die. Most people would say they just want to be loved by someone, but I want to be the one to do the falling. Do not get me wrong, it would be great if my love could be reciprocated. However, before I die I definitely want that intoxicating feeling of being “in love” that I have heard so many people describe flow through my body. Unfortunately being able to scratch that off my bucket list isn’t as easy as planning a skydiving tour or a trip to Italy.

INSTEAD OF FRAMED PICTURES OF MY LOVER, THIS IS WHAT I'LL HAVE FRAMED ON MY WALLS

Intro Blog: Getting to Know Melanie

Hi! My name is Melanie and I have been told I talk too much. I have various social networking accounts and I notice sometimes my statuses are frequent & a bit long. Tweeting poses a bit of a problem when you can be long-winded. Therefore, I thought I’d start a blog.

I guess many different things just tend to grab my interest, in either a negative way or positive way, and I like to communicate them with people. I also like people who communicate their opinions regarding issues, even if their opinion differs from mine. So if you want to comment or even disagree with one of my blogs, feel free. Sometimes looking at things from every perspective is the only way solutions can be found and other ideas can be explored. However, here’s a hint of Caution: I can often be stubborn in my beliefs, so don’t think just because I will openly read or listen to any and all comments that I will choose to believe them. I swear I will do my best to be honest and sometimes it may offend people. If it offends you, I’m sure there are other blogs that you can find to suit your taste.  

My current life is nothing extraordinary and could be described as mundane. Anything that might be considered “going too far” in this blog will probably be in way of opinions. My body has been in the active grasp of many chemicals, behaviors that I am not proud of, and depressive symptoms in the past. Then in my late 20’s I cleaned up a lot of my negative behaviors and tried taking control of my future.

Next, I got my G.E.D. and enrolled full-time in a Bachelor of Science program at a university with my major being in Psychology. I did so because I had struggled a lot in the past and I hoped to use some of my insight to help others deal with their problems. This summer I am graduating with my Bachelor’s Degree and I will be 30-years old. My plans are to enroll in a Master’s Program to become a Licensed Professional Counselor. I still struggle and am far from perfect. However, I know that I am much better off than I once was and I hope to continue to learn and grow until I die.

Hopefully, this blog will share personal successes and struggles coupled with a healthy dose of my most recent addictions of celebrity gossip, reality television, music, movies, and any other topic that might feed my curiosity. I can’t promise to update frequently. Nevertheless, I hope you’ll find something that sparks a creative and original thought in you no matter what I share.