This is a candid online diary that contains personal successes and struggles, poetry, commentary of popular culture, and any other topic that feeds my curiosity and thoughts. I’m a nerd, so I might often provide facts via media or words that help influence my perspective of life issues!
2-Year-Old Logan Hunter
Coleman was buried today. He died after taking antibiotics for strep throat. Yet,
they’re not 100% sure that is the cause because the autopsy is not back yet.
This was Ernest, my
Stepdad's niece Misty, 2-year-old little boy. That might sound confusing, but
Ernest has 20 some-odd brother's and sister's. Therefore, it's a big family.
What you do need to understand is although it's sudden and sad; Logan’s Death is not
the only recent sudden loss in this family!
Baby Logan Hunter Coleman was a precious baby
with parents, who loved and cared for him very much! His loving brother and
sister will also grieve the loss of Logan. I would be lying if I said I knew these people well.
However, the unexpected death of a two-year- baby really touched my heart and I
wanted to share my condolences to the family.
RIP BRANDI!
Because Ernest’s family is so large, they have lost six
members in just 3 months: Lost from earth, yet no longer suffering. I was only
really close to one of the members and funerals are too hard for me to bear.
Therefore, I did not attend most services. But, I did go to Brandi Newsome’s; Ernest's niece who was 2- years younger than me, and passed away in December. Besides the
death of my father, that was the second hardest death I have had to grieve. She
and I had lost touch but we were very close growing up.
Now, Ernest’s family is keeping
the funeral home in business because they have 2 family members in the same funeral
home at once. The attending family member’s went back and forth between Logan
and family member Butch Jackson, who also passed away. Ernest also worked with
him for 20 years. Therefore, even though Logan was buried today and sent to be
an angel, the family is going back to the funeral home tomorrow. Unfortunately,
Ernest’s entire family has been going to the funeral home at least once a week.
Although I really only knew one
of these family members personally, it makes me realize how precious life is. I
am a control freak!! The truth is, I have no control over when people live or
die!!!! Even with celebrities like Whitney Houston, death often come as a surprise.
Who could be next? Could the
people or family members I love most die tomorrow? Could my nephew get hit by a
car and the doctor’s tell my stepsister she has no choice left but to pull the
plug?? I tear up just thinking about it! How would I handle it? I’m not sure I
could and I’m not even his mother.
Anyway, I just want to
tell my stepdad Ernest’s family that I admire your strength and courage and
hope that this week is your last funeral home visit. I know that y’all have had
a string of bad luck. However, death always teaches us something. I hope you
are able to grieve sooner rather than later so that you are able to learn the
lesson that death teaches.
I am sorry for all your
losses and if any of you have a bad moment and need to talk to someone, feel
free to call me. (even if we have never met)
REST IN PEACE!!!
Bobby
Brandi Newsone
Butch Jackson
Freddy Baker
Grandpa Ford
Logan Hunter Coleman
[Retrieved from Debbie Walker's (My Mom's) Facebook Wall on 2/23/12]
It’s
Oscar time-The time of year that I stare at the TV for hours because I love
movies! There’s the actual Oscars, the pre-show, and the pre-pre show! Oh, plus
the Academy Awards is never officially complete until I watch the Oscar Fashion
Wrap-up with Joan Rivers. This is like the Super Bowl for movie nerds!
I
realize that some of you might not keep up with Oscars and movies as much as I
do. Therefore, this Blog will enlighten you on what to expect this year. I’ll include
nominations for the top categories and my predictions of winners. If you
disagree with my predictions, feel free to comment & let me know!
The
Oscar telecast should be great this year! Billy Crystal is hosting for the 9th
time because Eddie Murphy dropped out of this is years hosting gig. As a Oscar
Host, Crystal never disappoints and brings plenty of spontaneity and wit!
The 84th Academy
Awards is Breaking New Ground
2012 is
the year of the silent film and women, particularly African- American Women. Giving
captivating performances and transporting us into their intense character’s,
several well-deserving actresses fill the Best Actress and Best Supporting
Actress categories this year.
February
is Black History month, and I predict the 84th Oscar telecast will
reflect that, and give two black actresses Academy Awards for both actress’
categories. If this happens, it will be the first time in Oscar history that 2 African-American
women won both top actress awards. With so many fine performances, I think it will
be a close race in Best Actress category. However, even though Meryl Streep gave
a striking performance and is always an Oscar favorite, I believe Viola Davis
is taking home Best Actress for her powerfully, introverted character in The Help. I think that even
though her co-star Jessica Chastain won’t win for her Best-Supporting Actress, you had better plan to see
a whole lot of her in the future. As well as giving an awesome performance in
The Help, Chastain
was also in Best Picture nominee The
Tree of Lifewith Brad Pitt and Sean Pean. Davis' other Co-star, Octavia Spencer is a no-brainer for the Best-Supporting Actress category and if she loses that will be the biggest shocker of the night!
This year also brought
famous moviemakers into new territory. Woody Allen came out of New York with
Midnight in Paris and my long-time favorite, Martin Scorsese, stepped out of
his R-Rated genre with a 3-D family movie, Hugo.
Best Picture Nominee's
Best
Picture nomine The Helpis of course
the biggest moneymaker of all the nominees. It is certainly the people’s
favorite for Best Picture. I enjoyed it very much and think it was very worthy
of all its nominations. The Tree of Lifewas unlike most movies, but I liked it because I like movies that make you
think outside the box. However, it’s not the kind of movie for everyone and can
be hard to follow. War Horse was
okay, I think my expectations were too high for the movie and it was too sappy
at times. The Descendants was a
decent movie that can keep a movie-lover audience full-filled. I haven’t seen Moneyball since it was in the theaters
which was several months ago. But, I do remember liking it. I enjoyed it and
was pleased with the movie. However, at the time, I did not think it was Oscar
material-guess I was wrong there. Midnight
in Paris was funny and witty. Even though I enjoy Woody Allen movies, I
enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would. Every American should see Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Even
though the script seems implausible at times, it is a good reminder of the
effects that 9/11 had on the people it directly affected. The movie is not too
sappy, but does make you tear up a few times. Martin Scorsese is my favorite
director, but I must admit Hugois the
only Best Picture nominee I have not seen. I decided that I only would see it in
3-D and whenever I was looking, it was never showing at any theaters close to
me, which stunk!
Finally,My favorite Best Picture of the Yearis The
Artist. I try to see all Best Picture nominees, but I was not sure if I
would be able to follow a silent movie because I had never seen one before.
However, The Artist does a very
clever job at introducing the audience to silence movies and I was more
captivated by The Artistthan any
movie all year long. It is amazing how much can be expressed through non-verbal
communication-approximately 53% of communication comes from face, 38% from the voice,
and 7% from words. Everything about The
Artist was great, and the actors were incredible, especially Best-Supporting
Actress nominee Berenice Bejo and Best Actor nominee Jean Dujardin (Don’t be surprised
if he wins, he speaks mostly in French-He doesn't speak good English!)
WATCH THE ARTIST TRAILER BELOW!
Well, that’s
all I have on the Oscar movies and what to expect from the 84th Oscar telecast.
See the list below on my predictions on who will win the top categories. I know
I didn’t touch on the most important topic of the night, but it was just too
difficult to predict. So you will just have to stay tuned to find out..."WHO ARE YOU WEARING"???
NOMINATIONS AND PREDICTIONS OF TOP OSCAR CATEGORIES...
BEST PICTURE
The Artist- Who I Think
Will Win
War Horse
The Descendants
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
Midnight in Paris
The Help
Hugo
Extremely Loud and
Incredibly Close
BEST DIRECTOR
Michel Hazanavicius,
The Artist-Who I Think Will Win
Alexander Payne, The
Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Woody Allen, Midnight
in Paris
Terrence Malick, The
Tree of Life
BEST ACTOR
Demian Bichir, A Better
Life
George Clooney, The
Descendants
Jean Dujardin, The
Artist -Who I Think Will Win
Gary Oldman, Tinker
Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
BEST ACTRESS
Glenn Close, Albert
Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help- Who
I Think Will Win
Rooney Mara, The Girl
with the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron
Lady
Michelle Williams, My
Week With Marilyn
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Kenneth Branagh, My
Week With Marilyn
Max von Sydow,
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Christopher Plummer,
Beginners- Who I Think Will Win
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Berenice Bejo, The
Artist
Jessica Chastain, The
Help
Melissa McCarthy,
Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert
Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The
Help- Who I Think Will Win
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Margin Call
Midnight in Paris- Who
I Think Will Win
A Separation
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Descendants- Who I
Think Will Win
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Tinker Tailor Soldier
Spy
Watch the Oscar Red
Carpet Livetonight at 6pm central on ABC and the actual telecast at 7:30 central.
Also, if you’re an Oscar junkie like me, E! televises a live countdown to the
Red Carpet from like 12:30 central until the ABC broadcast!
Yesterday
was officially 8 years to the day that it's been since I buried my dad. It just
doesn't seem like it’s been that long. I handled this past week good because I try to avoid looking at the calendar this time of year if I possibly can. The last 2 weeks in February I tend to never know the date. That way I avoid the painful memories and won't be aware of some of the bad day's that plagued my February of 2004.
It still can be hard, but Father's Day's & his birthday are harder--probably because they
happened every year instead of only one dreaded year. I always remember the
last father’s day I had with my dad. At least remembering the good times is
easy when you had a great Dad, like mine!!!
In
Memory of my Father, below I’m going to Publish a letter that I emailed a friend a few months ago, when her father was dying. She had emailed me and asked "how
my Dad died & how old I was?" My response was written freestyle
& quick, with no editing done. It was my free thoughts at the time, so to
edit it now would censor the memory. But, it always brings memories & tears
to my eyes. Therefore, I thought I would share it.
Here is what I wrote... I Love & Miss You Daddy!!!...
I think I was 24. Long
& emotional story... at first he just started coughing, and then I cud tell
somethen was wrong....then like 6 paramedics came at like 3 in the morning and
I was riding in the front of ambulance as they was in the back pounding on his
chest...
I said to the driver: 'What does that mean??' I was
in denial
Then they rushed him
into a a room and pulled me into a private room... I shuda known somethen was
wrong, so many signs.... they wouldn't even take him to they preferred
hospital, they had to take him to the closest.
I was sitting in a
small private room just waiting an shortly later, this tiny female doctor came
in & started talking....I wouldn't even let her finish...
I just interrupted her
& I knew... I said ' Is he dead' & she said 'yes'..... I started wailing
so loud, u cud probably hear me in Lebanon.
There was a phone next
to me & called my mom. She said she wakled into the kitchen, so not to wake
up Ernest because she didn't know why I was callin @ 3am. And, Ernest said he
could hear me crying and screaming over the phone all the way in the bedroom...
It was hard... I was a
zombie for a few days
We had the viewing in
Nashville & then Me, Mom & Ernest flew to New York to bury him where he
was from....
My Dad's Italian
Catholic family In Long Island are Character's....
It was like a Journey
to the Sopranos...LOL
But, it gets better
& now I mostly think of happy memories!!! I do love him & father's day
is hard because i remember my last fathers day with him vividly.
I was an only child
& he spoiled me rotten! He would do anything for me. I was Daddy's little
girl!!!
But, I know he looks
down on me every day & smiles. I remember his smile. My Dad was a religious
man... a lot more than me.
The night before he
died... he ironically did something that I don't ever remember him doing with
me.... he pulled out a book that had the Lord's Prayer.. & read it with
me... we prayed together the night before he died...
I honestly can't say I remember Dad teaching me the Lord's Prayer before the night he died, he just ironically did on that night. I wonder if unconsciously he was aware of what would happen???
Frustration caused by ignorance
happens. I get frustrated when I'm ignorant to certain things. But when I offer
a simple suggestion to make life easier for someone, and offer to take the time
to show them how to do it, or even do it for them, I get treated like crap. It
hurts! I'm not the one causing the frustration. I just know how to help this specific
problem and was attempting to stop you from being miserable because I care
about you. How about a please or thank you, instead of acting like I'm a bother
for wanting a couple minutes of your time to try and help? How about looking
for solutions so you don't constantly have to face the same problems over again?
If people continue to remain
oblivious to any issues, big or small, no problems will ever get fixed and
they'll continue to be frustrated by them. I guess that makes me a hypocrite because I
continually offer to help and then I get frustrated and hurt every time. Yet,
I still offer.
I just know from experience that this issue
will most likely arise again. So, I am trying to offer a simple solution
because I know I’ll probably have to hear you get frustrated about something caused by this problem
again. Maybe that's even selfish of me. I know I’m far from perfect! However, when I’m ignorant to particular
issues, I will take a few minutes to listen to what another person has to say about
them so I don’t always face the same problems. Sometimes I even take their advice ;) It saves time and stress in the end. “Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.” -
Albert Einstein
I was talking to a girl online who also has Epilepsy, Depression, and is a Psychology major. These are 3 things that define
me too!
She had the Vagus Nerve Stimulation implant (VNS), which gives her
brain electrical shocks and helps stop her seizures whenever necessary. She said
it has really helped her memory because she is not taking as many seizure medications,
although she still has to take some. She mentioned that because the implant
affects her brain, it also helps with her depression.
VNS
As far as anti-seizure drugs affecting memory, I can vouch for that! I used to have a really great memory &
now, at the age of 30, I have more memory problems than I can remember... pun
intended!
I have had so many terrible side-effects
from the numerous seizure meds that I have been on, that I have lost count. Some of the side-effects are almost
worse than the actual seizures themselves. It's bad when the side-effects
negatively affect my in-class presenting skills and the instructor comments
"practicing would help." I wanna say: "Nope, I did practice! It's my meds. They
make me repeat myself and I forget what I'm saying". It Sucks!!!
ANTI-SEIZURE MEDS ARE ALSO USED AS MOOD STABILIZERS. THEREFORE, EVERYTIME I SEE MY NEUROLOGIST SHE SAYS TO ME: "HOWS YOUR MOOD, MELANIE" :)
I use to be a really
good speaker, won forensics trophy’s, and acted in the theater, which
required performing in front of huge audience's. I stopped acting because my
seizures got in the way, and it got to the point where I couldn't even remember
a simple monologue to audition with-no matter how much and how hard I tried. I was probably
only 21-years-old at the time.
I was talking to my neurologist recently,
and she said that most people with Epilepsy also have Depression. That makes
since to me because I was diagnosed with depression soon after I was diagnosed
with Epilepsy. When you can't drive or live independently, you tend to get a bit depressed.
My epilepsy has always been pretty bad,
and I am currently on disability for it. I've had to drop out of a few college courses, here and there, because of hospital stays. Plus, I dropped out of high school my senior year because my seizures caused me to miss so much school that I couldn't graduate because of my absences. I even broke my ankle about a year ago and
was in a cast & crutches for a few months after having a grand mal seizure
and falling down a flight of stairs. At least I get some help paying for college with Vocational Rehab.
Because I have never been a candidate for
the implant before, I guess I just had to decide if I wanted seizures. If not, I
had to make myself willing to deal with all the side-effects of the anti-seizure medications. I currently take
3 anti-seizure meds at high levels & an anti-depressant. However, my seizures
have been better the last couple of months so maybe I should ask my neurologist
if I could be a candidate for the the VNS implant now!
It hasn't always been easy, butI'm glad all this happened to me because it inspired my passion in Psychology and Counseling. But, if I could become a candidate for The VNS implant, I would totally go ahead & get it!
Today is February 16! I
can officially say that I got past the single woman’s most hated holiday
without phoning an old boyfriend or tuning into “Loving with Delilah.” *Singsong
Voice* De-li-lah! It is the only radio program that can make a listener contemplate
suicide while playing depressing pop music.
With the exception of when
I gorged on a big heart-shaped box of chocolates that my mom gave me, I
survived the holiday by making myself oblivious to the presence of Valentine’s
Day. That was my defense mechanism to guard me against feeling like a lonely and
depressed 30-year-old who is going to die a single old woman surrounded by her
cats. I just pretended it was a typical day.
ME- AN OLD WOMAN SURROUNDED BY MY CATS!
MY VALENTINE'S DATE FOR 2012
I HOPE I DON'T DIE THIS WAY!
As much as I want to be
a strong, independent woman, sometimes I do get lonely and wish I could fall in
love. Because I never have been, sometimes I wonder if I even have the capability
of truly falling in love. Maybe my selfishness prohibits me from being able to
truly give enough of myself away so that I might fall head over heels “in love”
with someone.
I know that I am able
to love and I love many, such as family and friends. However, being “in love”
with someone is completely foreign to me. Maybe I have seen one too many
romantic movies, but I just want to fall “in love” with somebody before I die. Most
people would say they just want to be loved by someone, but I want to be the
one to do the falling. Do not get me wrong, it would be great if my love could
be reciprocated. However, before I die I definitely want that intoxicating
feeling of being “in love” that I have heard so many people describe flow
through my body. Unfortunately being able to scratch that off my bucket list isn’t
as easy as planning a skydiving tour or a trip to Italy.
INSTEAD OF FRAMED PICTURES OF MY LOVER, THIS IS WHAT I'LL HAVE FRAMED ON MY WALLS
Hi! My name is Melanie and I have
been told I talk too much. I have various social networking accounts and I
notice sometimes my statuses are frequent & a bit long. Tweeting poses a bit
of a problem when you can be long-winded. Therefore, I thought I’d start a
blog.
I guess many different things
just tend to grab my interest, in either a negative way or positive way, and I
like to communicate them with people. I also like people who communicate their
opinions regarding issues, even if their opinion differs from mine. So if you
want to comment or even disagree with one of my blogs, feel free. Sometimes
looking at things from every perspective is the only way solutions can be found
and other ideas can be explored. However, here’s a hint of Caution: I can often
be stubborn in my beliefs, so don’t think just because I will openly read or
listen to any and all comments that I will choose to believe them. I swear I will do my best to be
honest and sometimes it may offend people. If it offends you, I’m sure there
are other blogs that you can find to suit your taste.
My
current life is nothing extraordinary and could be described as mundane. Anything
that might be considered “going too far” in this blog will probably be in way
of opinions. My body has been in the active grasp of many chemicals, behaviors
that I am not proud of, and depressive symptoms in the past. Then in my late 20’s
I cleaned up a lot of my negative behaviors and tried taking control of my
future.
Next, I got my G.E.D. and enrolled
full-time in a Bachelor of Science program at a university with my major being in
Psychology. I did so because I had struggled a lot in the past and I hoped to
use some of my insight to help others deal with their problems. This summer I
am graduating with my Bachelor’s Degree and I will be 30-years old. My plans
are to enroll in a Master’s Program to become a Licensed Professional
Counselor. I still struggle and am far from perfect. However, I know that I am
much better off than I once was and I hope to continue to learn and grow until I
die.
Hopefully, this blog will share personal successes and struggles coupled with a healthy dose of my most recent addictions
of celebrity gossip, reality television, music, movies, and any other topic
that might feed my curiosity. I can’t promise to update frequently. Nevertheless,
I hope you’ll find something that sparks a creative and original thought in you
no matter what I share.