Oblivious to Valentine’s Day!

Today is February 16! I can officially say that I got past the single woman’s most hated holiday without phoning an old boyfriend or tuning into “Loving with Delilah.” *Singsong Voice* De-li-lah! It is the only radio program that can make a listener contemplate suicide while playing depressing pop music.

With the exception of when I gorged on a big heart-shaped box of chocolates that my mom gave me, I survived the holiday by making myself oblivious to the presence of Valentine’s Day. That was my defense mechanism to guard me against feeling like a lonely and depressed 30-year-old who is going to die a single old woman surrounded by her cats. I just pretended it was a typical day.

ME- AN OLD WOMAN SURROUNDED BY MY CATS!

MY VALENTINE'S DATE FOR 2012

I HOPE I DON'T DIE THIS WAY!

As much as I want to be a strong, independent woman, sometimes I do get lonely and wish I could fall in love. Because I never have been, sometimes I wonder if I even have the capability of truly falling in love. Maybe my selfishness prohibits me from being able to truly give enough of myself away so that I might fall head over heels “in love” with someone.

I know that I am able to love and I love many, such as family and friends. However, being “in love” with someone is completely foreign to me. Maybe I have seen one too many romantic movies, but I just want to fall “in love” with somebody before I die. Most people would say they just want to be loved by someone, but I want to be the one to do the falling. Do not get me wrong, it would be great if my love could be reciprocated. However, before I die I definitely want that intoxicating feeling of being “in love” that I have heard so many people describe flow through my body. Unfortunately being able to scratch that off my bucket list isn’t as easy as planning a skydiving tour or a trip to Italy.

INSTEAD OF FRAMED PICTURES OF MY LOVER, THIS IS WHAT I'LL HAVE FRAMED ON MY WALLS